* Chronological consequences, forgotten birthdays and repeating group chats not included.
0
Mondays in September
61
Approved days
∞
Summer energy
0%
Educational value
Engineered irresponsibly
Three breakthroughs. One very specific escape plan.
01 / RECURRENCE
↺
The Loop
Automatically resets the calendar to April 1st every time June approaches. June never sees it coming.
02 / DEFENSE
⌁
Homework Shield
Instantly vaporizes any syllabus or school notification that tries to enter your timeline. Even the “friendly reminder.”
03 / AESTHETICS
☀
Infinite Tan
A built-in feature that ensures your skin tone matches your eternal vacation state. SPF still sold separately.
For advanced avoidance
Pick one perfect day. Then refuse to leave it.
The Day Looper gives committed vacationers total control over exactly which April or May day becomes forever. Choose wisely. You will experience it to its literal fullest.
Timeline ready
15
May
You will experience May 15 to its literal fullest. Again. And again. And—well, you get it.
Our legally questionable manifesto
Together, vacation will never go away!😎
Simple, impossible pricing
Choose your relationship with consequences.
All plans include sand in places it should not be and a deepening inability to explain what year it is.
Casual avoidance
The Weekend Extender
FreeFOREVER, BUT ONLY UNTIL MONDAY
48-hour micro-loops
Basic homework muting
One emergency Sunday rewind
Most irresponsible
Complete escape
The Eternal April
PricelessBECAUSE MONEY HAS LOST ALL MEANING
Unlimited April & May loops
Military-grade syllabus defense
Premium golden-hour lighting
Enterprise avoidance
The Graduation Skipper
ContractSIGNED BY YOU, YOUR PARENTS & PAST YOU
School-year timeline deletion
Diploma-shaped souvenir towel
Dedicated paradox attorney
Temporal demolition division
Some days should never have existed.
June brings consequences. December brings exams and suspiciously cheerful school concerts. Select a weapon, identify the offending date, and remove it from history with the seriousness it deserves.
June 2026
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July 2026
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August 2026
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September 2026
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October 2026
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November 2026
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December 2026
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A founding story against all odds and assignments
Two visionaries. Zero completed activities.
Every meaningful company begins with a problem. Ours began with several worksheets, a group presentation, three “fun” enrichment exercises, and the dawning horror that September would happen again.
Co-founder & CEO01
Tristan Mills
CHIEF ESCAPE OFFICER
“You know what? I’m not doing any of them.”
School had handed Tristan an absurd, overwhelming quantity of activities. Matching exercises. Reflection prompts. A poster requiring both research and glitter. Where lesser founders saw obligations, Tristan saw a broken timeline. He closed the activity packet, stared heroically toward an imaginary sunset, and designed the first Time Rewinder prototype on the back of the syllabus he refused to read.
Co-founder & COO02
Neil Rodriguez
CHIEF OUT-OF-OFFICE OFFICER
“If you’re leaving this timeline, take me with you.”
Neil studied the upcoming school year with the cold precision of an operations expert and reached a devastating conclusion: it was simply another year of suffering, but with a different timetable. He approached Tristan with a partnership proposal and one non-negotiable term—Neil was coming along on the timeline escape. Together they turned one person’s refusal to participate into a scalable refusal platform.
Enterprise-grade temporal support
Answers from a timeline with no accountability.
Browse technical guidance, legally adventurous policies, and support tools that become less useful the harder you try to use them.
The Rewinder folds the space-time continuum the way a responsible traveler folds a beach towel: badly, diagonally, and with far too much sand trapped inside. We then squeeze out June through March, leaving only the premium April–May fabric of reality.
For safest results, choose a Friday afternoon after all obligations have ended but before anyone says, “See you Monday.” Maintain hydration, avoid staring directly at your past self, and never activate two loopers near the same vending machine unless you want a localized reality tear stocked exclusively with orange soda.
Prices fluctuate according to academic panic. Standard rates become wildly unreasonable near major exams—particularly September 2nd through 4th during the first term, when demand for abandoning the future traditionally exceeds the available future.
Rewind It Back is not responsible if you accidentally meet your past self, give them suspiciously specific life advice, or erase your own enrollment history. If your school claims you never attended, congratulations: the product has exceeded specification.
No personal data, browser history, embarrassing search query, or unsubmitted homework assignment can follow you across dimensions. Our servers forget you before you even arrive, which is more privacy than most companies offer.
Your warranty expires exactly 24 hours before purchase. Claims submitted today are therefore late, while claims submitted yesterday are suspicious evidence of unauthorized time travel and will be forwarded to Legal.
Tell us what went wrong. The form will take your complaint with precisely the level of stability this situation deserves.
Common side effect. Our certified date-reassurance system can remind you which day you selected forever.
Connect to your own browser session from exactly three hours ago. Please remember that Past You is busy making the choices Current You now regrets.
OH NO! The calendar is broken! Well, the school year is NO MORE, so we're good!FACILITY CLOSED DUE TO EXCESSIVE SUCCESS
It is May 15. It will always be May 15.CLICK ANYWHERE TO ACCEPT YOUR NEW REALITY